I will do my best for my family no matter what, but there are times I really feel like this life is killing me. I am one giant ball of anxiety all the time. I worry what will happen to my baby girl if I die. I live in a constant state of stress about money and the future. I don’t play on the Xbox anymore, no time. But balancing work, marriage, and a child is a feat even the military couldn’t have trained me for. I wish I was half as much help to her as she is to me. I get a ton of help from my wife, don’t get me wrong. Working hours on end at my job, just to get home and start my other job of taking care of her and trying to keep my marriage from getting completely derailed.Actually developing an opinion what looks good as far as clothes are concerned (both for her and me).Watching Doc McStuffins so much it is now in my repertoire of songs at bath time.Wearing a stupid face until my cheeks cramped up just because it makes her laugh.I have endured and thought about things since having a child that I was never prepared for. I have given this a lot of thought, not just because I still wake up screaming sometimes with the memory. But if she did, her crap after wouldn’t smell as bad as what happened today.” At least I won’t have to worry about someone breaking her heart. That, or perhaps some supernatural portal into hell. And alien DNA would explain the horror that erupted from my daughter. I’ll have to keep a close on her for evidence. No human could see and smell that and not react. She kept looking at me like I was just being dramatic.
I finally got her clean, my wife wrapped her in a towel and dressed her. All I could think of were the words of Oppenheimer when they detonated the first atomic bomb… “I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.” At one point, I could swear I heard the shit whispering to me, beckoning me into the abyss. I now know how HAZMAT teams who are called in to clean up train derailments feel. Who gets crap IN THEIR ARMPITS? It was like it was reproducing. I rinsed her off, drained the bath, refilled the tub, washed. Foul, disgusting, split pea soup of evil. I carried her back into the bathroom, ran the bath, and put her in. Remember that sticky stuff? Turns out, she shit up her whole back. Actually, it was the fumes radiating from the antimatter in her diaper.Īt least, I thought it was in her diaper. I thought it was me starting to pass out.
#Dada next train out of mymind full
But when the wall of pain hit me full on in the sinus cavity, I started to heave. Now, I consider myself to have a strong stomach. Not just poop, but full on, “I SHALL COVER THE EARTH WITH DEATH AND DESPAIR” smell. I figured she may have rolled over into some snot (she’s a bit sick right now).
I picked her up to get ready to head out the door, when I felt something sticky on her back. My 7 month old daughter (who just really started eating solid food) was laying on our bed, just being the cutest thing ever.
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